I'm discouraged about my failed attempts at searching for a job. I spent most of my day doing nothing. I can feel my legs getting weaker by the second. I've made promises in my head and I've told myself that "I'll do it tomorrow" or that "now isn't a good time."
Today I learned how to ride a dirt bike. I've never driven one before. I ended up crashing into our pool deck and getting a bit banged up...But goodness was it exciting. I couldn't stop shaking afterwards. Especially when lifting my arms. My heart was racing I didn't know if I should cry or laugh. I feel like I need to expose myself to those types of situations more often. Honestly I'm still feeling the rush of it all. I know it sounds incredibly silly. But I think watching Grey's Anatomy isn't helping my heart at this point.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I actually became a doctor. Grey's makes it seem so glamorous. And part of me wants to convice myself that I should do something like that. Then I wouldn't feel as mediocre when I expleain how I'm pursuing a degree in art education. Perhaps I would feel more intelligent and know a lot more. Or maybe I would be more driven to pursue things that I enjoy? That sounds stupid too.
